artnow.world
Danez Smith
St. Paul, MN.
I'm Going Back to Minnesota Where Sadness Makes Sense
O California, don't you know the sun is only a god
if you learn to starve for him? I'm bored with the ocean
I stood at the lip of it, dressed in down, praying for snow
I know, I'm strange, too much light makes me nervous
at least in this land where the trees always bear green.
I know something that doesn't die can't be beautiful.
Have you ever stood on a frozen lake, California?
The sun above you, the snow & stalled sea—a field of mirror
all demanding to be the sun too, everything around you
is light & it's gorgeous & if you stay too long it will kill you
& it's so sad, you know? You're the only warm thing for miles
& the only thing that can't shine.
broke n rice
wit h bee f a nd veg gi es
b less ed wi th an e gg
sa ff ro n sul li ed c hil lin
w ith g arl ic or d irty n ot qu ite
re d bu ggin the bea ns
or jus t ri ce, wat er th e mi ra cl e
of sa lt t he gr a in s pr omi se
to pil lo w an d st retc h
i u sed to ha te r i ce
hat ed it h ated h ow
br oke it sou nde d
rice rice rice a po cket
w ith thr ee co p per co ins
hu n ger s tamb our ine
i h ate d al l of it
h ated the w ate r
gh ostbl eac hed by sta rc h
hat ed th e p uff y mo on s
po ckin g my sto m a ch
lik e a si ck ne ss
end in g sic kn ess
hat ed ev eryth ing
th at i woul d mar ry no w
l eg it wo uld
i wo uld m arry wa ter
coul d it hav e me
wi tho ut de adi ng me
i d m arry the m oon
cha nge my n ame
to it s ho ur
i wou ld w ed t he y o lk
go ld r ice stu ck
in th e yo lk yell ow tee th
of m y hom e girls w ere it n ot
alr eady jew els
mini ng th eir lau ghs
bl in ge d ou t li ke a do w ry
shi nin
nex t to th e bi lls of m int
bov ine rib bons
co n fet t ied c ar rots